He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
