Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
