I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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