My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
