I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
