you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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