So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize