We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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