if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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