Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
