she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize