I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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