i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
