Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
