We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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