I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
