Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We are two peas in an std pod
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
