Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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