Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
