I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
