Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
