Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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