On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
