Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
