girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
