Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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