she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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