Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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