My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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