Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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