Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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