At least make sure they are 18
Why
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
