Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your dad touched me again.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
