When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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