one might say we're banned from that church
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
