I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
