Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
