I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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