where am i from again
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize