Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
