you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize