I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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