One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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