well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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