i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
