try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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