Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
