I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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