How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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