Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You ate ashes out of my bong
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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