its not stalking. its research.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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