shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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