chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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