I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
