i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
nutella sex= disaster
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
