Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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